To: All Employees
From: The Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of Special High Intensity Training (SHIT).

We are trying to give our employees more SHIT than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the job, please see
your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the SHIT list,
our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT
you can handle.

Employees who don't take their SHIT will be placed in the Departmental
Employee Evaluation Program (DEEP SHIT). Those who fail to take DEEP
SHIT seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (EAT SHIT).
Since our managers took SHIT before they were promoted, they don't have
to do SHIT anymore, as they are all full of SHIT already.

If you are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job training others.
We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture list (BULLSHIT).
Those who are full of BULLSHIT will get the SHIT jobs, and can apply for
promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (DIP SHIT).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head of
Training, Special High Intensity Training (HOT SHIT).

Thank you,

* Boss in General, Special High Intensity Training (BIG SHIT)